Week Three
Isolation & Solitude
Table For One
Most days I eat alone.
This particular assignment was hard. I really did not realize how isolated I was until I started actually looking.
I took this picture just to show how everything is in ones. I only have one set of things: one table, one chair. The way the light is coming in, it sort of symbolizes jail or bars.
I realized that I was making my own jail.
I thought about what isolation meant to me, and then I thought — every day I eat alone. This was a self-isolation realization.
Just a Shadow of Myself
This, to me, evokes the emptiness that I discovered.
I called the picture "Just a Shadow of Myself" because I was not always isolated. I had a husband, children, and was always busy.
But I feel like a shell now. I have entered another cycle. I feel isolated and everything else is that much darker and bigger. The anxiety, the depression, it all just grows, grows and grows, and gets darker, darker and darker. It is a very unforgiving cycle.
Neighbours
These pictures are what we see of the house next door from our front and backyards. They show nothing of what's happening inside.
We get along well with the couple who live there, who are just a few years older than we are. But we are new to the neighbourhood, and don't socialize with them regularly, and we haven't reached the point in our relationship where we take responsibility for each other.
Early in 2018, the husband had a stroke. We were away at the time for a family funeral. When we returned, we discovered that the husband had been in the house alone for three months, as his wife had been called away to take care of her dangerously sick son. Nor did he have regular visitors as his family lives too far away. I was horrified when I found out. Of course, we offered help — anything we could do for him. We invited him to call or drop in any time, for a meal, or just a coffee and a chat. But he never did call or drop in.
When his wife returned, I asked her why he didn't knock on our door, and she said, "Pride."
Disability
What does social isolation feel like?
These are questions for which I have no answer at this time. I ask these questions all the time.
How does old age manifest itself? Because I don't feel that I am of old age right now. Will it disable me in the future? Financially, physically or mentally? What is in store for me when the challenge becomes a reality?
Odd Man Out
In my day to day life... what does "social isolation" look like?
One day I know I will need to have the courage to face being the odd man out. Unable to in some way meet my commitments to my chosen community. I will need to find another community or communities that are better fit for me and the goals I will make at that time. It is a challenge that sits at the back of my mind.
Right now, I have got my health and energy but down the road I do not know what is coming. I might end up like the giraffe; being the odd one out and having to make changes that I am not particularly happy about.
Being a senior is one of the most challenging parts of our life and I am trying to be aware of what is coming down the road and to enjoy each day as I can right now.
Incontinence
We are taught from an early age that wetting the bed or peeing in our pants is something to be ashamed of.
Incontinence of bowel and bladder is a common problem.
People stop travelling because of: the worry of being able to access a bathroom quickly; all of the extra supplies needed for colostomy care and self-catheterization; prostate problems that result in frequent, urgent, need to urinate; or bowel diseases.
Isolation Through Personal Secrets
I isolate myself when I am feeling "really down" or upset.
All I want to do is self-medicate with copious quantities of ice cream.
Vivian
Who is she?
Where does she come from? What is her story? What does she want? Do we ask?
Do we want to know?
Discontent
Reminding me of my vulnerability, my resilience, my humanity.
What’s Coming Up
When you know the sun is there and it is going to burst out at any minute, and yet there is darkness on the side.
The picture shows that there are better things ahead.
Choices
I really enjoy time at home and time without extra people around. Isolation has a negative connotation, but it can be less unpleasant for some people.
There is alone as opposed to lonely.
I was fighting against the negative connotation of isolation. I enjoy it but I'm lucky, knowing it's a privilege to have the choice.
Nourishment
I love cooking.
I like experimenting and trying new things, and I play with taste and textures. Cooking is my way of communicating without listening or speaking.
I don't cook only for myself, I share with others.
It is my way of self-care.
I like to cook alone. I am not isolated when I cook. It is my way of communicating love and nourishment.
The Sounds of Nature
I love nature. I don't need to worry about what they are saying, I just know the sounds of nature are beautiful and relaxing, and I love it.
I enjoy being by myself many times; sometimes I don't. I try to find things that I like. It is a new way of approaching life, different from how I used to.
I have a new way of evaluating myself. I am not scared. When I am going on a trip and if you look at my health history and my hearing problems you would think I am nuts.
But I am planning my trips and it is going well. I will do fine. I don't have to take care of anybody anymore, just me. And I am open to discovering what I like, without censorship.
Bears No Fruit — Bearing Fruit
This is a large lily leaf with a cucamelon.
I just love that this little strand has isolated itself way up there and actually gone through a hole to hang onto the top of that leaf, to hold up this part that is producing fruit.
It is an isolated job.
The tendril is about three feet long.
It isolated itself to do the job for the greater good.
Self-Isolation Behind the Beauty
Happy isolation, gardening, hobbies. Anything that I want to concentrate on that I love. I don't like working with others, in all honesty.
There is the garden, I like gardening. There is me, behind the window, isolated in my own joy.
The joy of isolation, I have always loved that.
I can remember being a kid reading comic books in the tent in the backyard, not ever wanting anybody to come in and invade my space. This is my space!
I love isolation.
Empty Chair
Some people are naturally more introverted, so it takes a lot more energy to go out, but also to invite people in. I wanted the empty chair there as a question.
How hard would it be to invite somebody to sit in that chair or to go out and sit in someone else's chair?